And it gets into the area of integrity and honoring her word, even when she doesn’t want to, or she’s emotionally angry, or hurt, or circumstances have changed.
Generally, we as a society say that a guy has high integrity if a business deal goes south – but he had said he would pay for something, and he still writes the check even though it’s totally not in his self interest.
But, he says, “I said I would, so I will do it.” That’s high integrity; even though it hurts him because the other person is counting on it. That’s generally not a female quality, they’re generally, “It’s all fucked, run!” And they abandon all their commitments. That’s what I’ve seen.
However, if a woman has a lot of trouble keeping her word – and is always really late or flaky in commitments, it’s a big red flag.
Because what does that predict? That means a lot of things, that protects the guy, that’s the whole issue. Imagine in divorce and she’s really hurt, she can be vindictive or she can say, “You know what?
As we discussed earlier, and I understand he has obligations, I’m not going to gouge him for this. I’m very hurt and angry with him but he has a life too, he’s a human being, I don’t want to deprive him of that.” That’s a woman of high integrity who is considerate of others or her word even in the face of really disappointing or hurtful stuff.
There’s ways to see that on a micro scale and I saw that with my girlfriend, and I’ve been very impressed with her in this area – she’s beyond any other women I’ve met in this regard.
And it’s great, because it allows me to invest in her and us at a tremendous rate because I know that her DNA is made like that, a sense of right and wrong. Even if she doesn’t like it, “I said I would and here it is.” The whole thing is she doesn’t even have to like it she just has to do it. That’s what I call high integrity.
Now, you don’t have to marry Moses or anything, but you can try and find a girl who has some backbone there. It will serve you well because generally in the long-term things there are challenges and problems, and you’re going to want to count on someone like that.
And the reason, I mention this toward the end is that it’s a fairly rare – yet also pretty important quality for you to look for, at least in a woman you want to get really serious with.
Because first and foremost, a serious relationship involves trust. If you can’t trust that she’s going to do what she says she will do – or honor her important commitments, then you’ll always be wondering about her and this can wreak havoc on you internally.
Again, she doesn’t have to be a saint or perfect – but very few guys think to look for this, and they suffer a lot of pain later on due to some form of mistrust, betrayal or breach in integrity.